I know I should now design the exhibition layout and photobook, posters, invitations etc. but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I am not done yet. The new, unopened box of 50 blank 16”x12” Ilford sheets of paper was also provoking and I eventually set up my mini darkroom again and done what was in my head for the last days.
It was a crazy idea and I was affraid I will end up tired and frustrated again but it turned out to be my missing puzzle. Instead of exposing the light sensitive paper with projector I thought I will try to stick the paper to my computer screen to “scan” the image. I had in my head the rounded/oval form which is in fact a full stop so I typed the 900pt full stop and positioned it centrally on the screen. I sticked the paper for a couple of seconds and placed in the tray with developer. And the full stop appeared. Beautiful, oval shape, not exactly as I imagined it but beautiful enough to get really excited. The shape was blurred but that was probably the best - the amazing gradient of the soft grey tones, from light grey to very deep blackness.
I have made some very interesting images using that new method and I think of all of them as my symbolic full stop in the project. I am happy to stop now and think how to put them all together to make the project convey what I want. How to make it intriguing, beautiful and thought provoking….Perhaps it is a too ambitious goal for the experimental and abstract works…? Don’t know.
It is a quite unexpected outcome of the five months long search for some structure, essence, motif. I have found it, but perhaps I went too far away from the subject in my explorations? It all does a lot of sense to me because I know the thinking process and the reasons behind every step in my journey but how it will be all perceived by the audience is a big mystery to me.